Testimonial of my experiences with the toad and how I am integrating it to my daily life “JM, philosophy professor”

“The toad intake is the most extraordinary event that I have experienced in my existence. I can say, after three days of having lived it, that it has transformed my vision of reality in a way that my inner circle verifies and testifies: now I know that the everyday world is part of a cosmic order that transcends it, and to which I have been able to access for instants absolutely impossible of codifying in the words through which we relate to the ordinary.

I can only express what I lived as an instant journey to eternity, a “big bang” in which, in a matter of seconds, made my consciousness “explode”, throwing it in all directions until it spanned the infinite.

If these words turn out shocking, so it must be: the “journey” induced by smoking the venom secreted by the Bufo Alvarius toad is a “shock” for which there is no other preparation but trust. And I say “venom” in the genuine sense of the term, “substance that produces functional alterations.” with this alteration being the remission of a sickness or disease. When Paracelsius said, “that which in big doses kills, in small doses cures.”  I can say that it has cured me of living with sorrow and without joy.

The key to this curing is the dosing, the care and the knowledge with which the shaman Alberto Guzmán administered this prodigious medicine to the participants: barely a few seconds of deep inhalation and next what I can only describe as the most incredible orgasm that can be conceived, seeing oneself thrown out of the mind into the vastness of time and space with an inconceivably beautiful explosion of light, wonderful and overwhelming at the same time, in which I only existed as pure consciousness, without the company of my certainties, thoughts, mind or body. Nothing that limits me participated in the experience. I crossed the threshold in which the infinity within me merged with the whole universe, showing me that they are not two different realities, but one.

There is no other way to consign what I lived that to say that I saw everything, was everything and understood everything for some indescribable instants.

Returning from that revelation brought me back to a reality that my senses now perceived with more clarity and precision: the colour of the sky, the green tonalities of trees, the sound of the chants with which the shaman Alberto Guzmán, and Yadira, his wife, accompanied me, everything was extraordinarily rich and varied. I felt that I had died and revived, and I remember that I cried tears of happiness for the joy of being alive. My body shook, overflowed by the torrent of emotions that ran through it as if the energy of mother earth activated me. I could only repeat the words “thank you” for several minutes in which I felt moved and happy, immensely happy”.

“JM, professor of philosophy”



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This professor of philosophy participated in the retreat organised by the Network of Holistic EpiCentres. (Madrid, Barcelona, Marbella, Berlin and Torino)


Ayahuasca International holds Inner Evolution retreats with therapeutic use of Ayahuasca in several countries in Europe. Click the links for specific information on each retreat.

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