To open ourselves to the fact that we do not know anything, that things are different to what we learned and that we can obtain new solutions for our problems.

“Laura, the thing is I need to know how many people I will share a room with at the retreat. I have a lot of problems with insomnia, and I know that if I sleep with more than one other person, I won’t be able to sleep because the slightest noise keeps me awake. I would like to know also what the schedule is, the programme for each day, what we are going to do, if the food is vegetarian and at what time each thing will take place.”

This consultation happens to us every day. Each time there are thousands more people who are increasingly interested in coming to a retreat with us, wishing to follow a call from their soul, sensing that something important happens there, but who are struggling with insecurities, fears, clinging to what they know and reluctant to let themselves be seized by what is still to come.

Every time someone contacts me to come to a retreat, I connect with that other Being from my whole Being. I open my heart and I deepen in the answer that Consciousness has for me. An answer that has nothing to do with the person with whom I have been speaking with for a few weeks now because they want to come to a retreat. It is a response that has to do primarily with myself, a key piece in the puzzle of reconciliation where the energy of healing is fitting, painfully and little by little in my life. What can I learn at this moment from someone who needs help and who accidentally contacts me?

And like a ferocious lightning bolt, the answer comes clearly and concisely:

“Opening my heart does not mean just opening myself to another person, to love, to life, or to anything concrete. It means opening myself totally and unconditionally to things being different…that history does not have to repeat itself. That just because I could not yesterday, does not mean that today I will not be able to; and that just because I can not today, does not mean that tomorrow I will not be able – I DO NOT KNOW. All I can and can not do is an absolute mystery that is beyond my control. I can repeat the same scenario, the same circumstances, the same actors – and even then everything can be different. It may also be that everything is the same, and that history repeats itself in an unforgivable pattern – but the mere fact that I have opened myself to things happening differently, IS PURE HEALING. It is a medicine that I have given to myself: the possibility that things are not as I have learned them, that they are otherwise.”

“And then, will opening my heart automatically lead me to expansion? To the expansion of what?”

“The expansion of consciousness is not a magical phenomenon that will connect you with the beyond, with having visions or guessing what is going to happen. That would again mean to be closed to the here and now, mentally believing that you know something, refusing to the enigmatic delight of absolute mystery. The expansion of consciousness is a gift, a side effect of your openness to things not being what you think they are and whatever is going to happen. By opening yourself to mystery, you get new tools, new creative ways to face your same old problems. If you are impatient, you can discover another angle of your distrust; that everything comes once you have made the decision. If you have anxiety, you can feel the call to action from being blocked by the feeling of anxiety – your creative force blocked by how you think things should be… If you have hatred, resentment, unexplained desires for revenge, you will see that you have nothing do, that the decision is already made, and that the only thing you are doing is obstructing, unnecessarily delaying that what has to happen, happens. The expansion of consciousness is a creative magic that is given as a natural consequence of your opening”.

Thanks to all those interested in our inner evolution retreats. Thanks to each participant who has dared to take a step towards the mystery of not knowing anything about what was, is and will be. Thank you for inspiring me to continue to open myself creatively to the mystery of all that can be.

It took me a year and a half to write these words. The decision was made – it was only a matter of time and opening to it to arrive, unexpectedly, in a remote place in Switzerland, during an integration in an inner evolution retreat in which the participants patience, openness and my team were again the greatest medicine.

Laura Torrabadella

[email protected]

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