The journey from control to surrender, from resistance to flow, from infantilism to maturity.

I ask myself, Alberto, if in truth, whether all those emotions that we avoid feeling due to not transcending pain, remain and will always remain with us, or if emotions can be managed from another place, from a place of compassion, without judgement. Is it possible to live with all those emotions, including the characters without having to kill them? Is this possible? I feel that nobody can know what to do in the next moment, because every moment is new, and one can think that nothing can affect them anymore. Carlos.C.

ANSWER: Deep down you are looking not to be dominated or humiliated by the power of the emotions that unleash themselves like a tsunami within you. Emotions would actually not bother you so much if you had power over them and not them over you. When emotions control you, it is because you can not observe them without judgement or rejection. And if you can not be aware of your emotions, it is because they are being used by the characters that dominate your life. Each character needs emotions to feed and to be activated. They are the fuel that sets the characters in motion to interpret the script for which they are intended.

When you try to avoid any emotion you are denying it, rejecting it, judging it. To dare to feel every emotion and be able to observe how it activates the need to manifest a character related to that emotion is an act of deep self-knowledge that can lead you to put yourself above your emotions and your characters. When this happens, you regain power, even if it does not mean that you stop feeling emotions or having characters, but they will not have control over your life. Emotional infantilism affects the majority of people who do not mature in relation to the management of what they feel, so when emotions come to them, they either repress them (activating a type of character) or project them (activating another type of character). But if you maintain a neutral point of observation, you can become aware of the part that has been managing your life forever.

Once you see yourself and you realise the mechanisms that have power over you, you can immerse yourself in the pain that they produce with the purity of an innocent child, to transcend is not to build a bridge so as not to cross the river, but rather to get carried away by the current without resistance. Allowing ourselves to be dragged along until we become it. Only in that moment do you transcend, never before.

Your manifestation of a need to control emotions makes it clear that you want to control life and what happens in it, what has created the fantasy that you can put yourself in a place where nothing affects you. Please be careful with creating beliefs of transcendence or enlightenment that give you the feeling that you have overcome limitations -that you are still alive and controlling yourself- or that you have reached high places -that are true only in the mental illusion- because pain must be crossed not dodged. When we resist pain, we have to dedicate our lives to controlling everything. When we open ourselves to pain we are opening the floodgates of pleasure and happiness.

“Happiness is a great gift that comes to mature people.”

Alberto José Varela

[email protected]

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