I AM WHAT I GIVE YOU, AND YOU ARE WHAT YOU GIVE ME
Tell me what you want from the other and I will tell you what your life is like.
What we humans give is, essentially, desires. What we want from others is what is creating our own life. Happiness and unhappiness are our own creations that are projected to others and that return amplified.
The fact that we do very well in life usually forces us to have to hide it or at least disguise it because it is not accepted. It even produces bitterness and envy in those who see it. It works very well for things to go wrong for us, to generate pity and be victims.
Why does happiness have such bad press? Why is the human being not content with the success of others? What part of us has broken down to the point of denying ourselves the possibility of being happy?
It is a strange reaction to feel rejection and even pain when it is proven that others are happy. Those of us who are on a path of inner evolution are interested in comprehending the aspects that impede happiness, our own and that of others, since they are intimately related. That’s why I want to reflect on this strange phenomenon of not being able to be happy with the happiness of the other, of not being able to enjoy the success of others.
THE TYRANNY OF THE HIDDEN DESIRES
The unsuccessful person knows that he is unseccessful and thus does not want anyone to succeed. The unhappy person feels helpless when facing the reality of not being able to be happy and therefore delights in the unhappiness of others. But this situation is internal, a state secret for a sick personality because of the addiction to things going wrong or not coming to fruition.
I want to express something that can be very confronting for many, but also something that presents an opportunity to heal. A few days ago more than 70 people who work together and in the same organisation met in my house in Madrid. In observing the face and gestures of these people I could see that we are all on the same path of the realisation of our being, that we are seeing and enjoying how our dreams materialise, that we are happy for what we are achieving, that we are supporting each other with love so that each one can get the best out of themself, that we truly desire the success of others. For that reason It is inevitable to laugh and be happy.
Regardless of the point at which each one of us finds ourselves, we are all looking at each other, waiting with willingness to enjoy being witnesses of the happiness of others. We have discovered something tremendous: that our deep satisfaction is created by wanting the satisfaction of others, and although we cannot do anything for the other to succeed, we can support and accompany them with our desire that they flourish. We are ready to delight ourselves in the opening up of others and thus be able to smell the precious aroma of flourishing that emanates from human beings freed from the need to fail and suffer. It is a wonderful experience.
Many of us have met our partners right here, we have children that we love, others live beautifully alone, some come to my house or other houses that we have around the world, come and go through countries and meet new people. In all places we can talk about what we want, we earn the money necessary for our needs, we have nothing to hide, we look at each other from a place of respect towards potentiality, we can dispute and argue without guilt, we rely on the intention to transcend lies, we have fun watching the characters, we enjoy each other to see how we are flourishing. Many are in healing processes, feeling pain from wounds or being aware of the discomfort that comes from living from a place of limitation. There are also people who are learning to achieve their goals. We all inspire each other to continue forward towards the conquest of our own power which comes from freeing potential.
THE END HAS ARRIVED
Flowers die after flourishing. We have comprehended that we have already done everything, that we can close this organisation today and the more than 10 companies where we have permanent epicentres, because we have done everything we could do, we have not left anything undone. We have given everything, we have achieved the incredible – at least for those who bet their livesagainst failure. Our essential vocation has been success, the materialisation of our dreams, the realisation of our being; we have achieved it, and for that reason we can afford to die or fail. We can stop doing everything we do right now and dedicate ourselves to something else or nothing, simply because we have given ourselves completely to what our heart has indicated. Absolutely everything has been perfect. I would not change anything at all.
That is why the end does not scare us, death does not threaten us, nor does failure frighten us, because everything that had to happen through us has already happened.
When each one of us comes to the moment of death, this reflection will surely arise: Have we given everything? Have we been happy? Have we done what we wanted? Did we achieve our dreams?
Life has been, is and will always be the opportunity to realise ourselves. The human reaches a level of divinity when the essence of love becomes life itself.
I look around now and see so many flowers blooming that my soul feels ecstatic. Each flower has its own time and process to flourosh, each flower has its own colours and exclusive aroma. Each being opens its own way and acquires its own form to manifest the beauty that exists in the universe. It is a beautiful and amazing landscape.
This last week I have been visited by several very determined women, with great talent and charisma. One of them said to me: “I want to work with you, but first I need to know what your intention is with everything you do.” When situations like that arise, it is very interesting for me to reflect and go inside to see, recognise and expose the truth of what is in me. I answered: “My intention is to transfer to others what has come into my hands, to pass on to others what I have discovered about matters so important for human happiness. My current realisation depends on seeing it in others because I have already got it”.
DEPROGRAMMING THE NEED TO SUFFER AND FAIL
I’m going to Uruguay to meet some 30 people who are coming to participate in Module 2 of the training programme I do with the Conscious School. They do not know it yet but I’m taking a concrete proposal for it to flourish, and I do it for myself, my own happiness, because it makes me happy to see others perform in their lives. This experience of being able to participate in the development and success of others is what gives meaning to my life; although I have already seen it with so many people, I want more. They come, and after a while they see how they exploit that creative and lovingexplostion inside them that they had so well guarded or hidden.
The movement that I have founded is called MOVEMENT TOWARDS POTENTIALITY. Which is the same as saying “We are going towards the realisation of our being. This path leads us to the inevitable destiny of success” Many of us from all over the world are called to direct our lives toward the flourishing of our essence. For this reason we look and we are glad to see others happy, full and happy. This is the core of what unites us.
Today I have gained so much satisfaction in attending to the liberation processes of the essences of other people that I have no words to define my happiness for it. But I want to continue because I am guided by an uncontrollable ambition to want to see many more flourish. I have even come to think that the dignity of any human being only recovers when happiness arises for the other, or when pain arises from the pain of the other. That’s what teachers have called compassion. Put another way, for me compassion is the comprehension that everything that is happening outside is mine. I am what I give you and you are what you give me.
If you are not happy with my happiness, I comprehend you, and I propose that you approach our organisation to breathe a new air of freedom and happiness based on the responsibility of surrendering to the only destiny to realise your being.
What I am really is inevitably related to what I want for you, and what I am not depends on what I want from you. My interests for you can enslave me and repress me, that’s why I can affirm that you do not interest me, that I’m only interested in your success.
I offer you my gaze, I do not have much else to give, in which I transmit what I feel: I HOPE EVERYTHING GOES VERY WELL FOR YOU.
Alberto José Varela
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