Accepting being accepted is the most exquisite delicacy we can drink.

We have to get fully into acceptance in order to give the final blow to weaken the whole structure of the rejection. A delicious elixir that seems bitter for a mind that has distorted the tasting capacity of the heart.

What do I mean when I speak of ACCEPTANCE? Every time I use this word I am aware that I am emitting a healing signal via expression. Accepting is a gesture towards existence. It is opening one’s arms wide. It is an attitude that comes from an innocent heart. It is the way that define most accurately the natural predisposition with which a child is born. ACCEPTANCE is PURITY and RECEPTIVITY. Every human child has it due to the fact that it does not have the option of rejection and as a consequence, it is permeable, letting everything in, leaving nothing out, and registering everything. This is the main problem in relation to wounds and human traumas; and the infinite capacity to register the external and imprint it internally as if as children we were the cause of everything that we received.

Imagine a world where all children could register ACCEPTANCE in the first 7 years of life. They would learn the highest lesson that would guide their whole life: ACCEPTANCE of being accepted, after which only a wonderful life can follow. Since the human being is born with an activated ACCEPTANCE mode, unable to renounce it, when we are rejected, we accept it. And with that we learn the worst of all the lessons that will condition our life to be a living hell. To reverse this human tragedy we must return to the origin of the process and understand that it was not possible for us to choose any other option. To cancel the ACCEPTANCE mode in a child is to kill it spiritually. From our soul, spiritually we are slaves of acceptance and that is the most blessed slavery to which we are subjected by consciousness. Humans can live in emotional imbalance because they have experienced rejection in a thousand ways, but at the deepest level we preserve the basis of healing because we keep our essence and the potential to be innocent again intact. Consequently, we recover the ability to cleanse the way we look at ourselves, the world, people and all the events that have happened to us.

Acceptance is a response to everything that happens to you, meaning a YES from the heart. Love is the energy that is emitted from acceptance in order to bring together all things and all people. Gratitude is the feeling that comes from experiencing love in relationships; and understanding is the result of having integrated the past, the external and others into your Being. When this happens you are in blessed heaven. But when there is no acceptance from the beginning, the whole process that follows is corrupted and distorted, acquiring a direction guided by rejection. It is then when it becomes indispensable to return to the beginning of the path to correct our direction through reconciliation.

Facing rejection

Over the last few days I was with 5 of my 6 children and my partner Paula sharing one of my daughters, Aneley’s, 28th birthday. Our way of celebrating this type of event was a bit different from the conventional. While we toasted, I asked everyone: “What do you reject about yourselves?” Everyone looked at me as if to say: “is this a birthday or a no-therapy session? “At that moment, Amelys, who is the youngest and the one who leads this type of internal movement (she is like my spiritual secretary), started to organise turns so that everyone could begin to express themselves. One by one we expressed, with sincerity, what we rejected about ourselves, with my turn being the last of the round. Then I proposed starting the dynamic of sharing again, but with something much more entertaining and I said: “now let’s say who we reject”. At that same moment Amelýs said: “Me first please”, “I reject …” and she said the name of a very close friend hers. “What part of him do you reject?” I asked, and she replied: “almost all of them”. So I suggested to everyone that they could observe the fact that the people we reject have parts that we also accept, and those parts should not be left aside. Because gratitude and connection with others come from the recognition of everything we accept. On the other hand, I told them: “it is fundamental to accept the fact that we reject”.

Acceptance of rejection is vital for healing. If you reject someone and you also judge the fact that you reject them, a double rejection effect is generated in two directions that ends up being destructive for the one who rejects and the one who is rejected. The moment you can observe the parts that you reject in the other and accept your attitude of rejection, a process of acceptance around what is happening begins. This is the first step of the acceptance process. Accepting the rejection we feel for others does not mean that there is a resignation or a self-affirmation that justifies the action of rejecting. On the contrary, there is a confrontation with rejection, we are saying: “I ACCEPT YOU”. We were all given permission to express rejection towards different people, and we did it without guilt, understanding our rejection and laughing at the reasons that we put forward to justify why we reject others.

Rejection should be a topic of conversation of friends and families, political parties and spiritual organisations, since somehow we are all reacting to life according to the attitude we assume in the face of rejection, so talking and sharing opens us the way to acceptance.

In this sense, if we do not accept the past we will not be able to access a future of acceptance. If we do not accept what we do not like we will not be able to access what we do like. This attitude has mystical connotations too, because if we do not accept what we see we will never be able to access what we do not see. If we do not accept our rejections we will not be able to access acceptance. Rejection can never guarantee that what we do not like or what we wish had never happened changes. On the contrary, it can only make the situation we reject worse.

It seems very easy to pose the idea “if you accept being accepted you will live in blessed glory, everything you have ever wanted will come to you”. But the process is complex, there are many bends in the road and we must not neglect the path of healing for even a second. Sooner rather than later, you will reach your destination. You will rediscover the essence. When innocence is recovered and dignity is reactivated in consciousness, a process of de-structuring rejection begins. Recovering innocence allows us to change the place from which we experience what happens to us; reactivating the sense of dignity opens us up to everything that we deserve.

It is important to understand that acceptance does not come suddenly, it comes little by little, like the sweet healing effect of having taken the most kind and healing medicine. Acceptance will open a space of internal perfection, from which the deepest understandings that will generate a powerful magnet that attracts everything we deserve will emerge. When acceptance settles down as a natural state in the heart, a life full of satisfaction begins.

I received a message from a reader and facilitator of Inner Mastery, Jorge Miranda from Uruguay, who says: “I have observed in the eyes of most people a fear of not being accepted, most of the time I have stayed there, in that superficial look. Then it’s as if I become the fear of the other, from there everything feels like pure discomfort and resistance. But when from within me, I look at the other, penetrating his fearful gaze, with love entering his fear, I suddenly go beyond it and  access a pure space. It is incredible that this phenomenon happens in a fraction of a second; when I get acceptance by penetrating that look, what happens is that inside me an energy field is created, an internal voice arises that says -I am OK here, ACCEPTING YOU- Then I feel and the other feels that they are not separate from me, that we have created a bond of acceptance, totally the opposite of judgement, division and rejection. We are home.”

The powerful healing effect of acceptance is lethal for all types of wounds or traumas. It is an antidote that does not fail before any unforeseen event or unexpected bad news. Recovering the capacity to accept, love and thank puts an end to any process of suffering or incomprehension. For now I am still on tour presenting my new book about THE INNER JOURNEY, confirming at each step of this trip through South America and Europe that there is something that always accompanies me, as if it were someone or something that takes care of me and guides me in everything I do, everything I say or decide, taking me again and again always inside myself, inspiring me to look at myself to check the state of my essence and check that my innocence is free of conditioning, and that the active healing principle of acceptance is available to be used at any time or in any situation and with any person. For my ego, my characters and identifications, accepting is equivalent to drinking the most deadly of poisons. I can assure you that this poison is deadly. It leaves no possibility of survival. It is the only poison that acts on the central nervous system of human conditioning. If you drink it, it will kill you, and you will be reborn into a new and indescribable way of living.

Alberto José Varela

[email protected]

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