10 years ago I made my first big mistake of publishing an article about my arrogance (pride, being superb), it was when I began to leave prostitution of not writing what I felt, now it is time to publish the second article. But now I feel it as the result of a great “move” that I could not see at that time because I still did not feel worthy to express what I was.

The meaning of pride that we know is one of the meanings the dictionary gives us, which is based on an overestimation of himself in contempt of the others. This meaning of the word pride creates hostility, competitiveness, fight, division. The etymological origin of the word Superb is “superbia” which means the attitude adopted by a person who believes to be quite a bit more than he/she is. The proud must prove their superiority, category and preeminence and they will of course choose those aspects of their life in which they excel or have power, but in other facets their low self-esteem manifests though. It’s like someone who has a superiority complex that hides his/her inferiority complex. That is why he/she becomes arrogant, that is who shows his/her superiority with aggression or anger.

I have noticed that when you’re facing something or someone proud, you see his greatness and majesty and you tend to feel less, that pride is not making you feel so though, but your inner smallness makes you feel so. That pride is not insulting or attacking you; so I prefer to lean on another meaning of the word superb that comes from the word “superior”(“sobre” in spanish), hence also comes ” sobrar(be left over, be too much), sobrado(be/have more than enough), sobrante(excess)”, another word that comes from there is “sovereignty” which is to be higher, “soprano” which is the top voice, and from there also comes the word “superar” (surpass, be/get over), which is to get over his own limitations; that’s why is “sobrado”. From all this come expressions like “sobrenombre (nickname), sobresaltar (startle), sobrellevar (bear), sobrenatural (supernatural), sobrepasar (exceed), sobrescrito (overwrote), sobreseimiento (dismissal) …” They all say the same thing: that it is above … over.., beyond … The one that strikes me most is the word “sobrio”(sober) which comes from the same root, and means someone who eats or drinks moderately, or who is above excesses. That is also a superb person somehow.

According to the dictionary SOBERBIO (sb: arrogant, proud, sth/sb: superb), is a person who has haughtiness, in other words he/she feels upper, at the top, grandiose, majestic and for things it is said for example “a superb palace”, “a superb garden”,something that impresses, surprises or excedes our ability to define it, like saying “that is great, magnificent” or that it has large dimensions.

If someone tells me that I am superb when I show splendorous, when I shine, when I take out my grace and charm, when I reflect my self-respect and when I show joy to see the pride I feel for being as I am, then, I declare myself proud,superb. Whoever says “proud” to another lets us see that he/she feels less. He/she should not say proud to another, but tell him/herself “I want to be like you,” “I feel less than you”, the other is not to blame for what you feel.

If, instead of comparing yourself you admired, you would open a door to the inspiration that another one can motivate you. Admiring … “Ad” means closeness, when you admire you warmly approach more and more to look at the details of who reflects your own potential. You will never compare yourself for that admiration comes from a being who is confronted to flourish because there is another one that has already done it. The admiration that comes from an resentful and helpless ego for not flourishing is called “envy” it is an admiration that becomes destructive and you eventually finish hating what you admire, similar as the case of the great musician Salieri, a contemporary of a music genius such as Mozart, who ended up destroying what he admired and going crazy for not being able to reach the level of that one he admired. Mozart was not aware that he was in front of someone who will destroy him for the envy he felt.

In a world where there is plenty of low self- esteem it would be no bad thing a little pride. As medecine for so many people who have self-rejection.

I want to challenge you to give it a different meaning this time from the one we think it has. For me, being arrogant is to have made a high adjustment of the idea you have about yourself it is to recover the original idea of what we are. We think we are less than others and when that idea is modified upwards self-esteem grows up to such high levels that we call them arrogance or pride. Having high self-esteem does not mean you feel more than others, but you give yourself more value than you did. A person who values himself also values the others.

I feel proud of who I am, of what I am, of all I have and of what I receive, just because I deserve it. The pride I feel is not comparative, it makes me respect and focus on myself, I just feel exalted for being so. My respect and love for myself is no impediment for you to love and respect yourself. If you are not proud of you Who will be? If you do not feel proud of yourself then you have to find life someone proud of you, so you become a beggar. Be proud of yourself does not make others inferior, being proud of oneself even shows the way for others to come to respect themselves. It drives them to become great too.

One day, I was in the Parque del Retiro in Madrid sharing magical moments, spring, sun, warmth, flowers appearing, birds singing, and suddenly a woman who was with me that wonderful day told me: “You are the proudest man that I have ever known”. She’s like a soulmate for me, so it was impossible not to believe her, it was impossible to deny what she said, it was impossible that she had said that to hurt me or to project something on me, she told me from the depths of herself then after a few minutes, when I had thought about a million things about my pride and seek how to overcome this arrogance that I recognized in me and judged, she added, “I love your pride…” suddenly, those millions of thoughts aimed to blame me for being arrogant charged an unknown direction, they became a precious feeling of love for myself. The idea that a woman is delighted with the pride of a man is not what moved me, but to see for the first time my pride with another look and from there to go to the bottom of myself to see the immense happiness I feel for being me. Then I asked myself what if pride were a divine aspect of the human being and we are rejecting it ? If this kind of pride is what attracts so much, Why not be proud without hindrance? That day the pride change its meaning for me.

It was that spring day in El Retiro in Madrid that I sat on a bench next to Carmen and wrote these lines:


“Summer, moment of maximum flowering. Again and again, every year it happens again. Flowers bloom because it is their destiny. They can not hide their scent or their colour. They show beauty in all their splendor.

Arrogant for the underrated … Haughty for the inferior … superb for the slighted … Lofty for those who live hidden … Proud to those who reject themselves…

They speak the language of existential authenticity. They are just themselves, that is all. Nothing to hide. They expand obeying the unshakable law of abundance: OPEN UP, SURRENDER, APPEAR, GIVE, BE … giving it all away without asking anything in return.

At the core of all things there is an urge to come out, share and multiply.

The nature of human essence is flowering through the opening of the heart.

In the human soul, summer is not a season, it is the natural state that every time  pushes you to the blessed slavery of flowering.

I invite you to join the group of brave humans, who, despite being judged as boastful, arrogant or proud, do not hesitate to express his grace, charm and splendor.

Welcome to the garden of the proud. Here there is no comparison. It is a micro universe where there is no one better or worse. Each one with his/her particular beauty.

Relax that neither I nor anyone else can be better than you To be better? It is impossible. Repressed and impoverished egos are wondering Who and What the best is. By saying that something is worse they put it down, by saying it is better they put it above, both cases play the game of superiority and inferiority, the same complex still unresolved is played with humiliation. When this complex is overcome you will never use the words best or worse, inferior or superior, good or bad, positive or negative, they are words that show the polarity of a wounded ego, humiliated and understated yearning to see out all kinds of things to judge . In the judgement all the anger and resentment for not loving themselves is discharged, that self-hatred needs to get out somehow.

Watch yourself when you speak badly of others, look at the self-hatred you have, at your self-rejection, watch your envy, how you want to have what the others have, see how you compare and surrender once and for all to the possibility of opening up to love. Everything starts with a decision arising out of your heart. Stop fighting against what you are not.

If you want to change the group, if you want to start a process to move to those who love , accept and respect themselves, then count on me. I am the proud’s association president. And I just want to remind you that you do not need money, nor economic or political power, it is not necessary to be someone special, no need of titles or material goods; fame, prestige, beauty, recognition are not necessary things, only your firm decision to be who you are. In the process you will have to reacquaint, recognize and accept yourself, but all that comes alone. The whole existence conspires with those who decide to change … group.

The sect of those who hate and reject themselves is extended to everyone, many members of your family and friends belong to that sect, they will make you feel guilty for having left them, they will try to make you return, they will do everything to avoid losing you. You will have to be very alert then and I’ll be having fun, seeing the most wonderful human landscape, individuals who decide to leave behind a life of lies and suffering and dare to venture into the unexplored mystery of happiness and freedom.

How wonderful is for me to see that you grow, that you become so big and majestic, that you improve yourself. MY EXISTENCIAL ORGASM IS TO SEE YOUR FLOURISHING.

You can never be over me because no one can ever be more than the other. The existence has treated us with respect making us unique and unrepeatable. Every human being is divine when he/she flourishes; and when that happens he/she brings his/her own beauty and it is unmistakable.

Alberto José Varela

[email protected]


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