AMAZING JOURNEY TO THE DEEPEST PART OF MY HEART
In a complicated period of my life and in a complex situation about my existence, it was very difficult for me to progress.
My name is Vincent Morelle. But my name doesn’t say much about what I’m going to tell you here. I was living through a complicated period of my life when I first met the team from Ayahuasca International. I am a high energy person, to the point where I always found it hard to channel it. I am blessed to have grown up in the countryside, eating fresh and natural produce, and of having received a balanced education, full of love at the very least. When I arrived at my first Ayahuasca retreat with Inner Mastery in Barcelona, I didn’t really know what I was doing. I had heard about these rituals from a friend, I had seen a documentary by Jan Kounen, and I was certain that one day I would have this experience.
I found information about the retreats organized by Inner Mastery through Facebook, . I very quickly got in touch with Sergio, one of the facilitators of the team in Barcelona, and I took the decision, over 6 months ago now, to go to my first retreat. In response to the question “Why are you coming?” I simply answered that I was in a complex situation about my existence, and I was struggling to progress. Several painful family and professional events had occurred in the previous year, which made me lose confidence in myself, confidence I thought I had, and I had the feeling of being in a maze with no way out. I was also fighting against an addiction which also made it difficult to have clarity on the situation.
When I got in touch with Sergio and the Inner Mastery team, it was because I was interested in the Ayahuasca experience. What I discovered in this very serious organization exceeded all my expectations. Soon I heard that psychotherapeutic integration sessions took place every morning after the ceremonies, but I kept telling myself that I was not coming for that this and that this type of discussion must be very boring. So the following morning, after the first night, they call us to get together and start the integration. In a circle, outside in the garden of a beautiful house, in the sun, we started to describe our experiences of the previous night.
Suddenly, I start to understand the importance of the discussion, to the point where I can say today that these integrations are the pinnacle of the work developed by Inner Mastery over many years. My encounter with Ayahuasca was amazing, sometimes challenging, but the final feeling was one of infinite grace. I have discovered that it is possible to heal yourself completely, and I have tried, for the first time in my life, a love with a unique flavour, universal, from which the source never ceases to grow… I have reached the point of realising that the world is much simpler than what we imagine. I have been able to end that unfortunate human tendency to feel that life isn’t fair which causes us endless stress, and that this is the result of all those wounds that continue to bleed from within ourselves, that were never resolved, and that ended up turning into a monster that we believe to see everywhere. When in the end it’s more likely a consequence of an accumulation of bad ingredients that we have bit by bit added to the recipe of our own existence.
Realising that I myself am responsible for my suffering was a shock. I realised that I was the one who had sabotaged everything, that the « horrible y evil » world was a reality that I had projected from within myself, and that I could no longer allow anyone other than myself to be responsible for all this bad sensations that constantly arose in me… Then something fascinating happened to me. I’ve always been a person who loved talking, who liked showing off, make others laugh, being the centre of attention… My previous profession had also maintained and fed this part of me, this character that I had built over the course of several years but now didn’t serve me at all. After 6 retreats of 3 or 4 days that need to talk is disappearing bit by bit, each time I feel like showing off less as it no longer makes any sense, and I am progressively reaching finer layers of my being in which its no longer necessary to justify myself, argue, demonstrate, defend, question, complain, make laugh, or to quieten the voice that communicates with the silence of the heart. With one gesture, one smile, one exhalation, an opening and closing of the eyes, a silence, a pause, listening, gratitude…
Everything else has become action, a decision. I have chosen an attitude, an attitude that moves forward, that respects who I am and knows what I need, an attitude that allows me to feel all the love that lives inside me and all the things that surround me, an attitude that no longer allows me to postpone for tomorrow what needs to be done today. An attitude that pushes me towards what I feel is important, an attitude that allows to inspire others that I find along the way to have the same attitude, others with whom I am building a better world, each day, each second, staying alert, alert to what my heart feels. Every morning when I get out of bed I say to myself « today I am going to do everything possible to be happy ». That way I try not to think about tomorrow, but be as present as possible in this magical moment of my life where everything is, where there is nothing else to add, where everything is perfect, the only thing needed is to be quiet and observe, and finally feel…
My next objective is to be able to go to the jungle in May, with a trip organised by Inner Mastery in Colombia in the Putumayo. I want to go to the source, and see with my own eyes the cradle of this mysterious and healing plant, that is now travelling around the whole world trying to reconnect humans with the most precious thing that they have, their heart and love…
I feel a deep and infinite gratitude towards the family of light that I have known in the Inner Mastery team. Things sped up a bit in my case and I am now one of the collaborators in the organisation, I’m still training, and I continue with this fabulous journey to the deepest part of my heart that I started a few months ago, in order to be able to extract from it the purest love possible…
Thank you, thank you to life, thank you, thank you…
Vincent