FAMILY Decalogue for my children

Text taken from the book “From prison, from my Freedom” by Alberto José Varela:

On Monday, August 10th, I did celebrate my birthday in prison. It was a ninety minutes vis a vis in a room where there is only one table and some chairs.

Paula, my partner, came with our daughter Amelys of 1 year old, Elián and Aneley of 19, two of the three children I had with Marisa. There was also Anahí of 6 years old, who I had with Conchi.

There was no cake or candles, just looks, words and laughter.

That day, I wanted to make a gift; I gave them a code of suggestions for family life that I wrote for them and that said:

1- When children speak, the oldest stay silent.

2- We discuss to get to know each other, not to be right.

3- There are no laws or rules, love guides us.

4- There is nothing to hide, but we all have the right to lie.

5- Nothing must be judged or criticized, all is accepted.

6- Nobody gives orders to anyone, everyone obeys his own heart.

7- We only believe that there is nothing to believe in.

8- There is no chance that anyone makes a mistake.

9- If someone doesn’t ask, no answer will be given to him.

10- We shall flow; spontaneity stands above plans.

11- Do not try to be different from what you are; you are perfect this way.

12- Here, there is no role model or ideal to get to.

13- Everyone chooses the religion he wants or none.

14- There is no set way of doing things, mind your own business.

15- If we are in a stalemate, we laugh.

16- Let everyone realize on his own how things are.

17- We don’t stop looking at each other from the heart until we understand each other.

18- If something is discussed, children have the priority.

19- Instead of controlling and investigating it is preferable to trust.

20- Every day everything starts from scratch, the past died.