Alberto Varela’s blog: A decision in solitude

Vagabundo espiritual

I want to publish my first editorial supported by an idea that follows and haunts me for many decades:


At the moment when I am more accompanied than in my entire life, and that with a team of professionals we are launching this project of international dissemination of my texts, I feel once again the feeling of loneliness. It seems that it is essential to feel it when you take a step beyond all limitations.

This act of publishing a web page and blog with hundreds of texts that I have been writing in the last two decades, is an act of daring, courage and dedication that comes from a decision that I have made alone.

The programmers led by Álvaro Arias are accompanying me and making it possible to materialize this idea. I am also supported by the different style correctors, designers and creatives, and of course I am supported and accompanied by people who share business functions within the international organization that I have founded, such as Paula Carmona, Oscar Gómez, Dejan Bosnyacobik, Hugo Oklander, Laura Torrabadella, Isamar Gutierrez, Michela Quaglia, Erik Moreno, Sergio Sanz, Darwin Grajales, Walter Bisio, Bruno Maroto, Ramón Alán Henríquez Gurrola, María Aguilar, Francisco Esqueda, Victor Jimenez Chico, Pedro Artuñedo Nieto, Alessandra Gandolfo, Hendara Rico, Cesar Gil Jimenez, Gloria Eugenia Sànchez Ramirez, Elian David Varela Elizondo, Erika Ojeda, Eliel Gomez Segura, Francesca Morgante and John Feenton.

Thank you all.

Text extracted from the book written between 2006 and 2008 and to be published soon:

Chronicle of a spiritual vagabond   

Alberto Varela December 2006

Deceptive and wise Soledad: We are apparently separate parts of the whole.

I don’t think there is an understanding more difficult to assimilate than the idea that we are alone; that no matter how accompanied we are and that no matter how many millions of people surround us, we will always be alone, that is how we come and that is how we go. In this chapter I will talk about the awareness of solitude that a seeker needs.

The search journey of a spiritual wanderer forces him to carry with him an idea that permeates all his luggage, and that idea can never be abandoned because it would be very dangerous to continue forgetting about it; that idea is that he is alone. The day he forgets about this, he will risk continuing his journey in search of himself.

A tramp is someone who goes alone, does not need any company, to carry company would be a burden that would not allow him to move freely. A tramp decides for himself every move, every step he takes; he knows where to stop and he knows when to go again. He does not ask anyone how long he has to stay in each place, he does not hesitate to leave when he feels that way, even if he has reached the best of the places and even if they offer him the best of the proposals. He can stay and accept what they offer him, enjoy it and take advantage of it, a spiritual seeker does not know how to say NO to proposals, he listens to all of them without exception, but accesses “only” those that he only feels access to, and knows that he never knows. It will remain there, that no site is the final destination, therefore it does not sign indefinite contracts but neither does it set an expiration date on its commitments. He knows that his path will continue, elsewhere and with another situation. A tramp is a tenacious, nonconformist seeker, who always sets his gaze above everything he sees, looks beyond the apparent convenience and interests and what can be evaluated. In fact, when starting the path, the vagabond has had to abandon attachments and dependencies, thus he has left and thus will continue, without looking back.

I repeat this over and over again: “Here I am, alone, this is how I was born and this is how I will die, in absolute solitude”  that feeling of solitude has been accompanying me since I can remember; it is a feeling of infinite usefulness; It is what has saved me from blaming others for what happens to me, because everything that comes to me is everything I deserve, I produce it myself; It has also prevented me from supporting myself and carrying my weight on other people; My weight is mine and nobody else’s, I carry what is mine and I do not accept other people’s burdens; and it has also blocked any possibility of excusing myself for not being able to do something for reasons outside of myself, if I don’t want to, it’s because I can’t and if I can’t it’s because I don’t want to.

Everything begins and ends with me, nobody can be inside me. I’m alone, that’s the idea.

Precious Solitude

Solitude is an existential reality from which we cannot escape. Solitude is not only the silence where the freedom to be oneself is born, but it is also a constant meditative therapy; if solitude is not seen as an enemy, if it does not come from isolation, if it does not come from social resentment; the solitude that one feels and enjoys is called by the master Osho as “solitude”, it is the harmonious state with the idea of ​​being alone; it is a precious solitude because there happens the miracle of the understanding of who we are, where we come from and where we are going and that is why a spiritual wanderer falls madly in love with solitude. It will be your companion until the end of the road. The acceptance of solitude as reality is the first door that opens towards the inside of the seeker. In solitude is where it begins to be seen.

The consciousness of solitude is the survival insurance of the spiritual wanderer, he knows that no one will ever accompany him, he can have company, share with people he loves along the way, but that, even in the moment of greatest intimacy with those people, he will know that he is alone. You can love and be with those you love all your life, but you will always be alone.

Understanding solitude as an existential reality is the foundation that can sustain us on an unpredictable journey where a single look out can distract us and even make us stop this wonderful journey.

Wonderful egoic strategy

In reality solitude is a lie, nobody is alone in truth; But at the beginning of the trip it is vital to harmonize with solitude to understand that there is no one else to start the search, oneself is and will be there, deciding, taking charge, facing situations, integrating learning, moving forward … And then, more forward, every vagabond who continues on his way, realizes that he has never been alone, never; and that no one has ever been alone, that solitude is a sensation that is produced by the apparent separateness with the whole. One cannot be alone in an existence in which everything is a single thing and a single reality in which everything is related and united with everything. We are one. Existence is one. Everything that exists in it is also a single thing. Things seem to be separated by spaces and distances but they are not, it is just an appearance; even nothingness is part of the whole, it is the connective tissue of everything that exists on the material plane. It connects everything to everything. Nothingness brings us closer and unites us, intimately embraces us all by the bonds of love, that is why Osho said that love is not a relationship but rather that which relates us to everything. Because love is that subtle connectivity that ties everything together.

Yes, it is true that we are alone, but united, stuck together, doing the same thing, giving rise to the same thing: existence. That is why existing is so precious, because it is being part of the whole. That is why wandering is so exciting, because wandering reproduces a journey through unknown energetic orbits, those that we have been traveling for millions of years. But now here, on the material plane, inside a body, on a distant planet, immersed in a carnal reality that yearns to reconnect with its eternal spiritual essence.

Existence is one, I am one with existence and so are you. THERE IS NO SOLITUDE, that is a necessarily false idea, necessary only for the beginning of the journey, because we are so used to depending, to supporting ourselves, to asking for help, to be saved, that we cannot begin to trust ourselves. When a spiritual wanderer begins his journey he must know that he is alone even for a moment, this is how he begins to trust. The idea of solitude is a ploy to disconnect with everyone and allow self-confidence to be born, it is the most effective and elegant way to get rid of others, to get them out of the way, it is the way in which consciousness takes a step towards the understanding of the whole.

Solitude is neither mine nor yours, it belongs to existence. Existence is alone and it is only one, there is nothing other than existence. In every trip that is made for it, you will never be alone.

On this journey as a spiritual wanderer, the stars, rivers, sun and moon, clouds, sea, mountains, animals and plants have accompanied me, even people, whoever they are, they have been my companions, even the enemies and the ones I’ve never met.

A spiritual wanderer clearly perceives that feeling lonely has been a temporarily useful invention.

You have never been alone. You’re not alone. You never will. Even if you feel alone inside, look outside, observe everything that surrounds you, you are accompanied by everything. Dare to trust yourself first, trust is the eternal fuel that occurs when the transitory idea of solitude is understood.

You can be part of many groups, have a family, live in communes, mingle with the crowd, but remember that, as for what really matters and what will save you in any situation, everything is in you and your awareness of solitude gives you It will allow you to cope with life and its affairs.

The spiritual wanderer has told me whispering in my ear: “Don’t be afraid Alberto, don’t feel alone, that which guides the stars guides you too. The same energy that moves the galaxies also moves us human beings, the same wisdom that expands the outer spaces is capable of expanding the inner spaces ”.

We go through life alone but accompanied by all of existence. What a wonderful disappointment.

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