The feat of recovering innocence in the face of conditioning that accuses us in order to keep us enslaved.

Those of us who are in a process of healing know that the recovery of dignity is a titanic, and seemingly never-ending task. To the point that at times a blocking impotence arises that makes us believe that we can not return to original innocence,  that it is something unattainable. But this is something that is happening to many people around the world, those who are going deep to heal from the soul. Not everyone accepts the fact that healing the wound of guilt is when a process of transformation begins.

The problem is very deep-rooted and is extremely ingrained. Thoughts are full of conclusions: so many things that have been done wrong, that were not done or should not have been done; so many things that happened that should not have happened, that should have happened differently or that have not happened even though we wanted them so much. The feeling of imperfection produces discontent and complaint in abundance. Every thought of imperfection or error produces a consequent feeling of injustice. When we feel injustice we become the worst judges of others, of life and existence, simply because we REJECT. But to heal ourselves we must understand why we reject.

Psychology asserts that there are many types of trauma or injury. For example: betrayal, abandonment, lack of love, humiliation, abuse, loss, judgement, etc  etc. In fact all refer to REJECTION that is experienced in many ways. Rejection is the inheritance that humans transmit from parents to children, and in that we are implacable because we do it more each time and with better methods. We have accumulated so much over thousands of years, that now there are now thousands of ways to reject. It is the projection of the mother wound of all traumas. For example when we do not listen, when we disregard, when we lie or deceive, when we distrust or overprotect, when we shout or use derogatory tones, when we give answers to questions that we have not been asked, when we force ourselves to believe or think about what we have learned … We have created so many ways  to make others feel that they bother us, that we do not like how they are or that they are inferior to us; that rejection becomes a daily experience that sticks to the core and becomes increasingly installed in the vicinity of the soul itself, enclosing it and condemning it not to express itself. That is how our interior becomes a real bomb that explodes every day and it is necessary to go through a complicated labyrinth in order to be able to access it to deactivate it.

When the heart closes , reason becomes powerful, and then it develops its terrible strategy of perpetuating rejection.

We have become experts in rejecting our children in a thousand ways. My process of understanding and healing almost puts me in daily testing situations in order to observe the internal levels of rejection that I might have myself or that could be in my environment.

It’s now 4 o’clock in the morning and just a few hours ago my little girl Amelys came crying. She said: “I’m very sad, Dad, because when I eat or shower or go to sleep I think there are many children who do not have what I have and who are suffering”. Her crying was heartbreaking and her sadness very profound. I had just finished having dinner at a house in Marbella where we are spending the holidays with a part of the family. Before dinner I said: I am at the best restaurant on the whole of the Mediterranean  coast… a perfect place, perfect climate and a deep conversation. My sister-in-law Beatrice made an exquisite meal, we had delicious Italian wine from Italy that Erik and Michela, a couple of friends, had given me. The only thing I could say is WHAT A GIFT OF LIFE IT IS TO BE HERE WHERE I AM ACCOMPANIED, AND WITH THE INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL WELL-BEING I FEEL! But a moment later came the surprise reaction of Amelys, a 9-year-old girl in a reflexive state that led her to an emotional outburst. Maybe it was because we had talked about the injustice that is being committed in the world of how children are treated so badly. We agreed that child abuse is the most atrocious barbarism committed by humans, and the origin of all the misfortunes we suffer. The exploitation, prostitution and abandonment that is done with children was the subject we dealt with. About how they are forced to do so many things, how their weakness and innocence is taken  advantage of in order to manipulate them, and how that affects all of humanity.

The moment Amelys cried I decided to put my hand on my daughter’s the heart and say: daughter, please do not stop feeling the pain you feel, but do not let that pain make you an unhappy child either. It is so precious to feel from the heart, the sensitivity we all have is the most precious thing we can express. I repeated to Amelys: please feel what you feel, do not reject it; sometimes it’s hate, sometimes love, I only ask you to feel without thinking about what you should feel, or what you should feel about this or that thing, all feelings comes for a reason and the only thing we can do is accept them. Please do not reject them.

When I went to bed I watched a film “FATHERS AND DAUGHTERS” about the drama that an 8-year-old girl goes through because of the death of her parents, and how that event conditions her life to feel fear of being abandoned. Her self-destructive behaviour places her back in the wound over and over again, as if she were doomed to suffer from the possible repetition of the moment when she was abandoned by her parents who actually died in an accident. In the innocent mind of the girl a horrible conclusion is created: if they left me it’s because I deserved it, therefore I am not worthy of the love of other people. This is how her life was created on the idea of not deserving love, and in the face of that the only option was to suffer.

Every child unconsciously decides to absolve their parents in order to blame themselves, whatever happens. Even if the parents abandon, mistreat, punish or humiliate them, they will always take charge and come to the same inner conclusion that everything that is done to them is because they deserve it. It is an act of love that comes from the innocence that almost every child has at that moment. The impossibility of blaming others or of not being able to prevent what does not belong to them from coming to them is what creates the original wound of REJECTION. Precisely due to not being able to reject that which creates indignity and indignation in them, and for transforming what they perceive into a rejection of themselves.


Although the inner work we do is constant, deep and full of surrender, the army of thoughts organized by the judge that we have inside comes to us when we take steps toward freedom from guilt. It is as if we are not allowed to stop feeling guilty because we would break with the fundamental loyalty to our family system and the suffering of the ancestors.

The birth of freedom occurs when there is no trace of guilt that harasses us within; reason makes us believe that we do not deserve love, that we are not worthy of abundance. It is such a magical and healing moment to be able to realize from an open heart and from expanded consciousness that we are and have always been innocent, and that guilt has been an illusion.

It is very easy to explain it like this, but very difficult to come to understand it from our soul. Therefore I will dedicate another post to develop this idea as we consider the healing of the idea of error, injustice and punishment that we infringe on ourselves.

The mere fact of go deeper into it is creating the conditions so that healing begins to occur.

Do you feel it?

Alberto José Varela

[email protected]


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