I must acknowledge that being as hated as I am loved, as defamed as I am supported is a great opportunity for the evolution of my consciousness. This is why I want to use this contradictory energy to shed light on what happens to us when this dichotomy or found strength arises.

Today when I got up and went to my computer I found a letter from my friend and soul brother Darwin Grajales; I spend several hours to read the letters I receive by email, and I had the idea to display some contradictory letters; I thus looked for contrasting letters: one positive and another negative about me, but they both speak about the same, not only me but of an inherent reality of those who wrote them.

For this reason, from today, I want to share the letters that people write me expressing what they feel and think about me and what I do or write. The most surprising ones are those criticizing and judging me, as they are much stronger and have more arguments than the complimentary ones, I consider them the same as those expressing love and admiration, as they all ultimately talk about my dark and luminous parts. At large, they all speak of what I am but mostly of what I generate in others. I accept all my parts and thus can let people see them, I have nothing to hide about what people say about me; so, I invite all those who are upset with me or thankful that they dare writing to this blog, remembering and being aware that everything we say about the other is a projection, a message returning to its orator.

Each time I publish letters, I will select one speaking apparently well and another apparently evil of me; they both apparently speak of me and apparently of the one who wrote it. WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF APPEARANCES.

Here’s the first example of this statement:

Letter from Darwin Grajales (Musician, Colombian singer and composer) to José Alberto Varela


Hello Alberto.

I wanted to thank you again for the madness that you created and give you my full support for what can be; I really appreciate your strength, courage and determination. I also know how difficult it is to navigate through so many points of view against it but I also know that your heart is the main responsible for all of this. Although you give yourself an arrogant image, I can feel the goodness and beauty accompanying your purpose with this organization.

You know I am very grateful for everything I share with everyone and everywhere including indigenous. Ayahuasca taught me to see things with gigantic lens; I thus trust what I feel, see, accept and question. In the end, I just I realize that much courage is needed to be able to let go.

Something huge is leading us and it is showing little by little. Blessed are you existence, Paula’s and your whole family supporting your feelings.

I love you all and I join in the process of flowing along this river full of extreme adventures and love.

A hug,


PS: tell Paula she is the bravest of all for trusting your arrogance


Hello Darwin

Since I met you through your songs, you didn’t only moved me until I cried, but you also taught me a lot brother… your songs are not songs, they are human realities sung with feelings.

You are, from the heart, the brother I never had, but although you are younger than me, it feels like you’re older, I admire you and I am amazed at the disguised arrogance you wisely manage in your life and profession.

We will do many things together, and even though I am alone somewhere in the world, you’ll be there too, because you’re a part of my heart, you are in my soul forever.

You are in Colombia and I am in Spain, apparently…

But soon we will meet in Spain to visit Europe together.

There, many admirers are expecting you with open arms and hearts…


Alberto Varela


Letter from Esteban Monti (former student of the European Ayahuasca School)

Hello Alberto,

I am very angry with you, because the responsible for your Ayahuasca School told me I could not give ayahuasca in your organization anymore, it is a shame to me, who have been to the jungle and learned from the Taita Querubín, that you don’t let me share my wisdom with the students of the school.

I thought you were an intelligent and wise man, you know very well that wise grandfathers don’t let women even approach ayahuasca when cooking, shamans say that women cannot get involved into the work with ayahuasca; but you place a “woman” in charge of your school and above all a lawyer and therapist, who hasn’t even taken half of the ayahuasca I have.

You clearly don’t know anything. Your organization is full of women in charge, your wife Paula, Michela in Italy, Francesca in the UK, Maria in Mexico and on top of that Laura in the school, who do you think you are to expel me from the school when I know more than all of you about how to handle ayahuasca?

I arrived at the school very depressed, after I realized that my wife did not love me, and I told you, and there were several members of the company when I said this: “I was feeling very bad with and because of a woman”; and on top of that you confront me with women telling me what to do. It’s a shame that you gave the power to women in an activity that has always belonged to men.

In fact, if you surround yourself with women, it’s because as you have NO self-confidence as a man.



Hi Esteban,

Thank you for your honesty, the fact that you can express yourself freely is a healing act.

What a coincidence that it was a “woman” who told you you couldn’t give ayahuasca anymore, because she saw that you couldn’t assist participants when you took ayahuasca as you enter in such severe vomiting process and dizziness that they knock you down and you fail to attend the people who have taken it. This, in my school, is not permitted. Laura had to replace you with other facilitators that night. If Laura took you out of that place it is for a good reason. I’m sorry that it had to be a woman who had to put you back in your place as I know the situation with your wife.

I hope that you can solve your problems in relation to “women” and especially with your wife. When I was at home in London with my family, I realized how hard it is to have to constantly take care of your wife’s four son and not being able to even have a moment of intimacy with her, so I understand you from the heart.

If you are angry with me and want to defame me, you can do it, it is your right and your way of using your precious energy on something. Since I met you I saw that you were a being of light, and that you have much to give to the world. This is why everything you do against me will be your own medicine. It will heal you. You cannot harm anyone. Every word against me is light for you.

I do not pretend that you understand why I trust women that much, it may be as you say: “I don’t have much confidence in myself”, but whatever the reason, I am really happy and satisfied that there are every day more women driving the world’s largest ayahuasca organization. It was time that women had the place they deserve.

Alberto Varela


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