BEING A HEALER, BEING A THERAPIST… OR BEING A DECEITFUL EXAMPLE? BEING A SHAMAN, BEING A TEACHER… OR BEING A SCAM?
The healing game moves between inferiority and superiority complexes.
Human beings have always been captivated by the possibility of becoming something more than we believe ourselves to be. As if it wasn’t enough being born in a certain way or as if we weren’t whole yet. A cat is born a cat, lives as a cat and dies as a cat. But the human being is born as such and then wants to become something better or superior. Even though this aspiration has a genuine foundation in the fact that a human is conscious and is able to recognize that there is a possibility of improvement or perfecting, it unleashes a storm of ambitions related to wanting to become someone other than ourselves. Even though the human realizes its evolutionary potential of becoming more and more conscious, wise, centred and balanced; its strong limitations and conditionings plunge it into a great deception with itself.
This topic is central in the understanding of the human being. Of what happens to it and of its destiny.
Every human being has before it, the possibility of spontaneously developing the natural features with which it is born, or to force itself based on pressures and demands to become more than what it thinks it is. These paths are very different to each other, one natural and spontaneous, and the other unnatural and forced. Regrettably, the human species has opted for the second path, and has created the educational system within that model of forced overcoming; educating children to become efficient, productive, effective and competitive. In this way, the quest for being admired and recognized is under-way; the division between being and wanting to become has already happened, therefore, the crack through which all kinds of dissatisfactions will filter through is open. We are ready to suffer, to be exploited and also to be assisted in the face of this suffering. Deep down lies irritation and unavoidable misfortune.
When I talk about the human need of overcoming oneself, evolution or transcendence, I mean that a great group of exit, answer and solution seekers has been created with multiple definitions of what they are seeking. Each in their own way such as: AWAKENING, HEALING, REALIZATION, ENLIGHTNING, TRASCENDENCE, EVOLUTION, ETC. Each of us can call it whatever we want. The important thing is to recognize that many of us are on this path seeking some higher goal. Therefore, it is healthy to go deeper into the origins and motivations of this seeking, because there lay hidden the secrets of the need to follow others. In this way, this search will lead us towards the encounter of teachers, gurus, shamans, therapists, and to all kinds of techniques, methods and philosophies. In this path we may often find ourselves feeling either tricked, satisfied, disappointed or supported and helped in our search. But this is not the important thing, what really matters is to be conscious of all the things that are moving as a result of what’s happening along the journey, and whether we are taking real steps in our evolution or not. The journey made is, in general, of dubious veracity. It is very common to see people that talk about having worked really hard on themselves, but suddenly they are overwhelmed by life situations that prove to them that they haven’t really conquered inner spaces of greater power, but rather they were self-deceived.
To become conscious that behind this game of personal overcoming lies a reality as complex as profound is what puts us in a place of power and wisdom in the face of our search.
A BRIEF EXPLANATION ABOUT THE SITUATION:
Every child is born with primary or fundamental needs: nourishment, love, affection, tenderness, care, acceptance, respect, acknowledgement, attention, consideration… that if they are not met, they won’t be able to have firm foundations nor a solid psycho-emotional structure for their development. Later on, implacable secondary needs will appear: to have limits, to respect authority, to obey, to learn…
Regrettably, within the human species, those secondary needs are more important in education and are put before the fundamental ones, which even tend to be forgotten or not covered to the extent that children require. Apart from putting all the emphasis on the secondary needs, altering a natural order, these needs are implemented with an obesession for security and without a base of trust and respect for freedom that’s inherent to every child. Therefore, and because of all this, an internal and unavoidable imbalance is organized within the child, upon which they will develop their life. They are now sitting on top of a time bomb.
This volcano, filled with extremely high temperature lava, is what I have defined as “THE CONDITIONING MOLLECULE”. An energetic configuration that is produced by the things that the child received and didn’t receive from their parents, and by how they perceived the relationship between them, or by how they were affected by the absence of a relationship between their parents. The somewhat defined stage in which this particular human being`s life-long conditioning molecule is created is approximately until the age of 7, even though it can be extended until pre-adolescence. The principal structure of life is created during that period.
After that age, the educational process and life facts themselves continue to accompany the creation of this fragile structure, creating in each child layers of personalities that are part of the infrastructure that they will need in order to become integrated with society. In this way, they begin to transform into these multiple characters that are useful to interact with the environment. They need to modify themselves to function properly, and without even knowing they will be developing personalities and ways of being that doesn’t match their essence, but is rather the result of an interaction with others and of the pressure their parents, society and the part of themself that demands them to answer and accomplish.
The day this child realizes this, I mean the fact that they are above a monumental volcano filled with lies ready to be vomited, the self-rejections begin. “I am not satisfied being like this” “I don’t like the way I am” “I don’t like my way of being” “I wish I was somebody else” “I would like to be like this or that person…” deep down they reach the conclusion: “I am not enough”.
These ideas are accentuated while growing-up, especially when one verifies that other people are reaching that place we were not able to reach, or that they get to have what we couldn’t have, even though we tried several times and in several ways. So as a result of the creation of this personal lie based on what they believes themself to be, the child develops a new series of needs, which I call created needs. There arises, for example, the need to be more or better, which is a projection of an unsatisfied ego that creates a life project based on proving being someone. But a great effort must be made in order to reach that point, studying long years, dedicating thenselves full time to something, working from sunrise to sunset and achieveing step by step proposed objectives. The need for money, study, work, for a house, for health insurance, etc. Needs that were created based on the necessity of being someone, being more or better.
This is, in few words, what happens to us in a handful of years creating an unwanted destiny that is either tragic or limiting.
LET’S DELVE INTO THE ROOTS:
This useful yet absurd ambition of “wanting to become” is founded on a set of shortages that in turn create an inferiority complex based on a schizoid educative process. This, on the one side underestimates the individual by making them believe that they are wrong, that they are not perfect, that they are full of mistakes, that they are bad or incomplete; plunging them deeper into the low self-esteem that they already have; and on the other side -to compensate such tragedy- it motivates them to reach certain goals and objectives. In these cases the achievement of results is fundamental to compensate for the feeling of inferiority.
Most people stay half way to further strengthening the idea that they are worthless. A few reach those high goals, they are successful in the projects they undertake or reach elevated objectives. A few others manage to make very favourable changes to their way of being and staying in the world. And in that way they develop yet another complex, the superiority one. These achievements make them feel that they are more, better or superior. These people are the ones who are ready to lead, dominate or exert power over the those who feel inferior.
Everything is set up to create submissive-controlling relationships that in turn make the situation even more complicated. This is because every relationship that is based on the idea of superiority and inferiority will offer a great variety of problems and the subsequent separation from the others: estrangement, conflict, denial of closeness, resistance to surrender, etc. This entire situation defines and emphasizes the individual conditioning of a certain person.
Presented with this situation, we have created all sorts of distractions to avoid seeing what is happening to us, so we can continue functioning well on the face of it or forgetting what a bad state we are really in. But there is also a minority of people that, affected by this terrible educative process, dare to seek solutions to resolve the shortages that have given room to the low self-esteem. This group is formed by truth seekers. People that one way or another want to resolve the faults they carry, to heal their cracks, to solve their trauma., These people that recognize a fourth need: THE NEED TO DEAL WITH THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM. This is the group of people that is continuously growing in the world and to whom I direct myself with special dedication throughout my blog publications.
The problem rests on the fact that many of those people want to solve the root of the proble. They want to solve it with a shallow approach, wanting to change the results without making a deeper transformation. To reflect about the real motivation that one has and to observe the place from which we take every decision is part of an inner evolution process.
Every person who wants to solve something in their life, in a shallower or deeper way, turns to some kind of therapy, activity or someone working with personal development to help them.
Precisely one of the activities in which people with superiority complexes engage, is offering programmes of personal development to every person that is still fixated on the inferiority complex. The task is very simple: first I have to convince myself that I’m above others, then to create some sort of proposition or learn some kind of technique that helps people to offer others, and at some point, I have to convince them that they can make it too. This more or less unconscious healing stratagem works very well for both parties involved.
Many of these people that work for the devolopment of others choose an even more sophisticated method yet: they put themselves as an example or role model, becoming mentors of “how one should be”, creating high ideals based on the admiration they provoke in their followers or fans. In fact, both options are compatible and combinable: on the one hand I put myself above showing solutions and techniques that may help you, and on the other hand I show you that I have already overcome everything.
The reason why I have created a web page and a blog is because I have a lot of things to share with you, but there are many roots to this act. It’s pretty obvious I’m writing this article for my blog because I believe I have a series of ideas that the people who read me do not, or that maybe they are not as clear about them as I am. The act of writing early every morning is driven by the feeling that I have discovered very interesting things for my life, that made me overcome myself and grow. They made me mature and be able to reach a point in which I can open myself up to share with everyone. I had to go through a very deep and very long process of inner evolution in order to reach this place. This process has allowed me to reconnect with the values that are annulled in education, to refine the natural ability to write, and also to speak and find the meaning and purpose of wanting to connect with others through my way of expressing with words. But above all things, I had to transcend what is described above, because what I have just explained was real in my own life and in the proposition I used to make to those who came to me.
Now I can say I am in a very different position, one in which I find enormous joy in working with the empowerment of those who read and listen to me, and in which I strictly dedicate myself to inspiring others to become masters of themselves. I can share infinite secrets that I have discovered about myself and about thousands of people with whom I have come in direct contact. I feel like I have this treasure that I long to share with others and this is exactly what I want to make a living from. It is one of the reasons why I have created this blog.
Because of these reasons, I suggest you open your heart to reading someone that has gone through many experiences and was able to observe himself and reflect about his own pathologies and limitations, in order to dare to take a series of really amazing leaps. This is what I have done with my life, taken leaps. And in none of them have I fallen or died. This is why I can put myself in a place of understanding both myself and you. I look at you as if I were looking myself. And I want to make it very clear that this act of reaching out to you is part of my evolution process, because you are my medicine. Getting in touch with you heals me every day in my internal conflicts.
Alberto José Varela
Part two:
https://albertojosevarela.com/en/spiritual-therapeutic-reengineering/
Part three: